Household Keppeler is a company of many men, some resident, some not, who are all seeking to be in a loving relationship with each other. It is this love for one another that binds us as a family, and perhaps distinguishes us from a commune.
Polyamory, meaning many loving or many loves, is the term the Household uses to describe this loving relationship. It is the word that we use to describe our lifestyle in contrast to monogamy.
For us, polyamory means that we are each enabled, permitted and encouraged to extend the flow of our love, both in giving and in receiving, beyond the single monogamous pair to a whole range of people. We believe that we are each enriched, even blessed, by this flow.
In Household Keppeler we recognize and believe that one person cannot, but by rare exception, be everything, physically, emotionally and spiritually, to another person. To require of one other person such a demand to be "my all" is, in our mind, the root cause of the failure of many relationships. There are too many demands, and often too many unstated expectations, for that other person to succeed in meeting them. And it is the very rare pairing indeed in which each partner is the completion, the "all," of the other.
Thru polyamory we form many relationships each of which enriches us with some portion of our needs and to which we return a portion of the others needs. Taken all together, we each find greater satisfaction and fulfillment of our own needs, as though the whole were greater than the sum of the parts. We also learn that our ability to love is not limited, that our love for a second person does not diminish our ability to love the first. Enriched by the love of each, and especially freed from guilt about loving more than one, we discover a still greater resource to love yet more.
Jealousy, which is but a symptom of weak self-esteem, is always a risk in such a lifestyle as ours. But as we are strengthened by our surrounding, loving family we grow in our self-esteem and we grow in our trust of one another. We also learn that we cannot prevent by jealous behaviors the loss of that which we can, in fact, never really possess. We may each give love to another, but we can never demand nor own the love of the other.
We recognize too that the dynamics within the polyamorous family are not all equal. The polyamorous relationship results in a dyad for each possible paring within the group. It is not possible for each of these dyads to be of equal intensity or to fulfill equal needs. While a misguided egalitarian sense may say that we should love each other person equally, the reality is that this does not happen, that it is not even realistically possible. Rather we give each other and ourselves permission to have varying degrees of intensity in each dyad. No dyad is without some value and what may be lacking in one dyad is more than made up for in another.
This page last updated on January 18, 2007.
Copyrighted © 2000-2007 by Master Alex Keppeler.
Constructed and maintained by Master Alex of Household Keppeler.
This page is designed for presentation in a frameset which provides navigational buttons down the left edge of the screen. If these buttons are not present, you entered this page thru an URL which did not open the frameset; please do not bookmark that URL and please click the 'Splash Page' button to reenter our Household Keppeler website thru the front door. Thank you.